4 hours....

this time i am not even trying to hide the fact that i am blogging at work. door is wide open, soul exposed to the world, brain all a-flutter and that ever-present grin on my face. i can't believe this day is here. for as long as i have had thoughts, i have thought of this woman. i have wondered and imagined and dreamed and hoped for all good things in her life. i have created an enormous cloud of wonder about her that lingers over every place i have lived, visited, rested, dreamed... today, all of that wonder, all of the possibilities, the images, the questions-- all of it will come together in one body, with one face, and one smile in a chair right across from me. today the gigantic question mark of my very existence will be replaced by my mother. Susan. i. can't. wait.